Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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