Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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