U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
cat food counts as protein by the way
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
