Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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