Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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