Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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