tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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