Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
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