At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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