So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
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