she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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