I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
