he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'm bleeding and have questions
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize