worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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