you should give me head with plastic fangs in
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
