You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize