I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
