i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
