Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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