no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
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At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
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in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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