Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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