I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize