Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude