Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.