i already hear my dad disowning me
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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