Betty ford says i'm here all night
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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