I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
