So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
