He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
