I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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