Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize