I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
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every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
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