You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
