Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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