Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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