in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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