we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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