We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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