you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
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