it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
