Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize