Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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