Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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