You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
