just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
