it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
How's work?
Spinning.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
