Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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