youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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