Plan B is the new Plan A
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
