I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
