Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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