I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
