ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
