Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
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