Christians are straight up FREAKS
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Your topless pictures make me question reality
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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