ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
