i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Just high enough for therapy.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
