There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
