All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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