coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
