I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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