Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i dont even know how to be here
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
