Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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