No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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