I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
